Do you plan to watch porn on Valentine’s Day as a single guy? If you are constantly engaged in watching porn (like everyday and every Valentine’s Day) and are unable to form a healthy understanding of what a relationship entails, then it could be a problem.
It may be time to quit porn on Valentine’s Day.
Many guys seek porn to find some form of intimacy or bond. While it may seem to be about achieving instant pleasure, it is not always about trying to have sex. Deep inside, it is about finding mutual understanding, good communication, sharing values, sense of belonging, building a future relationship, and so on. All of which form the intention for romantic bonding. We want to be loved.. Porn, on the other hand, creates a mock version in an objectifying way without any long-lasting fulfillment.
The effects of watching too much porn is you are using it as a form of “self-medication” to cope with issues facing your life. You get the urge to recapture those pleasurable feelings drawing on the degrading pornographic fantasy you have watched. It’s not based on developing a real human relationship. At the same time, you want to emotionally protect yourself from forming a real relationship for fear of exposing areas of your life you lack in. That relationship with women is mainly built upon lust based on the porn scenarios you have seen. If that’s your sole motive, you’ll appear desperate to real women and unable to form a long-term bonding relationship.
Here are 3 tips to you can follow:
1) Do not make comparisons with other guys, work on yourself first.
If you feel superior or inferior to someone, it’s a matter channeling your self-worth. Remember this statement — you are YOU. Pretty obvious isn’t it? That is, you are not an average person and there’s no point in falsely comparing yourself with others. Is Valentine’s Day a day based on competing among who has the most dates? Must you make false comparisons with others and feel inferior? No, you must learn to compete with your former old self and strive towards becoming a better person.
It’s more impressive to read stories of guys who were clueless with women (despite watching too much porn) and transforming themselves into an attractive, challenging, and caring man able to form a healthy long-term loving relationship than reading about a normal guy who never has problem getting dates sharing cliché relationship advice.
Let the impressive guy be YOU!
2) Learn to be happy with yourself first.
After all, how can you form a good relationship if you’re not happy with yourself first? Like the previous tip, it’s a matter of not comparing yourself with others and striving towards a goal for success. Once you have a clear direction on your goals, you will feel more confident and happy about yourself. The ironic issue is many single guys might watch porn to not feel lonely, but ultimately will feel lonelier afterward out of desperation. Loneliness then comes from within and can be changed from within. Much of our feelings of loneliness can be attributed to lack of oneness — not learning to be happy with yourself first. You can be in a crowd of 1,000 people, but can still feel lonely if you are happy with yourself first.
Happiness comes from within is the key to success, not the other way around.
3) Make decisions out of inspiration not desperation.
If you are happy with yourself first, then you’ll be more happy and patient around others. A person who is able to handle challenges, turn problems into opportunities, and turn the negatives into a positive learning experience will never appear desperate. This requires having goals, values, and a vision you care about in life. You then constantly take action towards achieving those goals. Eventually, when it comes to getting a date, you’ll have a lot more to offer to a potential partner. You will not appear desperate because you got something going on in your life.
At least focus on developing areas of your life that need improvement (confidence, social skills, attraction, and so on). Once you realize this, you’ll realize porn is a time waster and have a healthy motive to change yourself for the better. You’ll be a person with goals and something to look forward to, which will attract more people and relationships in your life.
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